The Bowgie Inn Crantock is a fun place to work. We get to meet so many funny, intelligent and interesting people from all over the country and they often have intriguing tales to tell. As you can imagine, we also get to hear many jokes. Some make us chuckle for days and some leave us confused with a furrowed brow until someone explains it to us.
On a grey Monday after the summer holidays, we thought you could do with cheering up, so we have put together a list of our favourite ten jokes and we encourage you to use them to create your own happy hour!
1. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm. He says
‘Two pints please. One for me and one for the road’
2. Comic Sans, Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
The bar tender yells ‘Get out! We don’t serve your type in here!’
3. The bar tender says ‘We don’t serve Time Travellers in here’
A Time Traveller walks into a bar.
4. A panda walks into a bar. He gobbles some beer and nuts, fires a hand gun into the air then runs for the exit.
‘Hey! What did you do that for?’ Yells the bar tender.
‘I’m a panda, google me!’ said the panda…
So the bar tender googled ‘panda’ and the results were:
(insert pic of ‘eats shoots and leaves’ google results )
5. A man sprints into a bar. Panting he says ‘give me 10 shots of your best whiskey!’
The bar tender lines up 10 shot glasses on the bar and starts pouring.
‘QUICK!’ shouts the man. The bar tender hurriedly pours the last shot and the man downs each one at lightning speed.
‘Why are you drinking so fast?’ asks the bar tender.
‘You’d drink fast too if you had what I had’ replies the man.
‘What have you got?’ the bar tender asked.
’50p’ said the man.
6. A man walks into the Bowgie and asks ‘What’s the quickest way to The Lizard?’
‘Are you walking or do you have a car?’ asks the bar tender.
‘I have a car’ replied the man.
‘Aaah good – because that’s the quickest way.’ said the bar tender.
7. A bear walks into a bar and says ‘ Can I have a…………………………………………….. cider please?’
The Barman says ‘Why the big paws?’
8. A man goes into a bar with his small pet newt called Tiny.
‘A pint for me and a half for Tiny please’ he says to the bar tender.
The bar tender asks ‘why do you name him Tiny?’
The many replies ‘because he’s my newt’
9. A Skeleton walks into a bar and says
‘Give me a cider and a mop’
10. A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bar tender
‘Has my brother been in for a drink here today?’
The bar tender looks at the penguin and says’I’m not sure… what does he look like?’
There you have it! Have a joke you’d like to share with us? We’d love to hear it so pop into The Bowgie to raise a glass and raise a smile!