We think that Cornish women are the best looking in the country. It’s all to do with the gene pool, the fresh air, the fantastic Cornish diet and the fact we are totally biased.
However, there are few things you need to know if you are planning on embarking on a courtship with a Cornish maid, and we warn you – dating a bird from Bude or a Wench from Wadebridge is not for the faint hearted.
1. She will drink cider
Not halves either. Full on pints and she will expect you to do the same.
2. Erm… and she will drink real ale.
Again pints…and yes you will be expected to do the same. Cornish maidens aren’t bothered about alcopops and fruity cocktails…not when there’s proper drinks to be drank. Pour her a Doom Bar!
3. You will always come second to the call of the sea.
Your Cornish Sweetheart has grown up with the sound of the sea in her ears. She can hear it calling her name wherever she is and she seems to know instinctively when a swell is on its way. So if the surf is good and you had a date planned, you had better rearrange.
4. She will make you walk miles to her favourite beach.
You may think the beach you have found is perfect. Sand, sea, great views etc…but trust us, she knows a better one and you might as well give in now.
5. She takes less than 2 minutes to get ready.
As a real beach babe, she doesn’t need to spend time styling her hair, she lets the sea air do that for her.
6. She will never make you carry her home.
Why? Because her footwear of choice (flip flops) mean she can walk home after several ciders without a worry in the world.
7. You will need to learn to love pasties.
We mean you will need to REALLY love them because you will be eating them. A lot.
8. You will also need to learn to love a cream tea.
This is an easy one, just make sure you put the jam and cream on in the right order! Woe betide anyone who dares spread the cream on first in the presence of a lady of Cornish origin.
9. She will never want to do anything you suggest.
That’s because there’s so much going on in Cornwall that she will know of something much better that’s going on. Whether it’s an exhibition, a festival, a show, a market or a gig Cornwall has it all and she knows it!
10. You will never live anywhere else.
Even the Cornish folk who leave their homeland for work, study or travel, always make their way back. When you have this on your doorstep, you can see why! Why would you want to be anywhere else?
Kernow Bys Vyken!